Antipathy...

Let me explain the reasons behind my antipathy towards Certiport and its tests (as seen in the previous posts).

Certiport's tests are not written in any clear and logical way. They are written in a way to trip you up rather than test your true knowledge of what you're being tested over. 

How do I know this? Simple. 

1.Everyone I have met who has taken the IC3 certification, whether they are students trying to test out of ISYS 110 or members of the college's staff who had to have the certification for their jobs, has had to take the IC3 tests (there are three of them) multiple times. This makes me glad that I am not alone. 

2. While I might not be the brightest crayon in the box or the most computer-savvy person on the planet, I am not stupid. Nor am I computer illiterate. I can program in Java, C++, HTML, and binary. I have experience with Macs, Windows, and Linux, and I have even contributed some coding to Linux from time to time. I even have a lot of experience using Microsoft Word, Excel, and Power Point, having held a number of clerical jobs in my past. Take a guess which of the three exams I can't manage to pass? (Yup. The one covering Word, Excel, and Power Point.)

Certiport's tests are not scored fairly.

Why do I say this? Let me tell you. 

1. I missed passing the Word/Excel/Power Point exam by twenty points (out of a scale of 1000) the first time I took it. The second time I took it, I got fewer questions incorrect, but my overall score was significantly worse than the first time I took the exam. And while a different version of the exam was used for the second go-round, there were a similar number of questions covering basically the same topics, but my overall score dropped by 200 points. How do you explain that fact when someone has been studying their ass off with two study guides for that exam? You don't, unless your scoring system is disproportionately weighted in an inappropriate fashion because, yes, I know how to study. I'm a very successful student (I'm graduating with high honors), and I know how to take difficult material and break it down into a system I understand so I not only pass the class but conquer the material and have an extensive repitoire of knowledge on the subject in question. I also have a high retention rate for studied material.

2. This is not my first experience with Certiport's shitty scoring systems. To receive some grant money to pay for my studies, I had to take a skills and knowledge assessment for the agency I wanted to receive money from. It was a Certiport test. There were six sections, and there was a scoring system of 3 to 7 for each section, with 3 being below average, 4 being average, and 7 being highly advanced. The agency that had me take this exam told me that one of the pluses of taking this exam was that if you scored at a level 5 or above, you could list it on your resume as something to make you extra-desirable to potential employers. Not particularly caring about resume padding but wanting the grant money, I took the test. (You'd be surprised at the number of hoops you have to jump through to get a measly $500 from Uncle Sam.) On five of the six sections, I received a score of 7. On one section, I received a 4. When I asked my grant coordinator at the agency how I should go about listing this credential on my resume, she informed me that only the lowest score you received on all six sections of the exam counted towards the resume padding. Which means that since my lowest score was a 4, I didn't get the little "feather in my cap" for my resume, which means that I wasted about six fucking hours of my life taking a poorly-written, illogically (and irrationally) scored exam when I could've been wasting that time in my life some other way, like, say, watching reruns of "Gilligan's Island" or making Martha Stewart crafts.

So, yeah, Certiport, your tests suck! And I know big companies like you have trolls who do nothing but scour the internet day and night looking for people writing unpleasant, inconvenient things about your company and your products so they can refute them and possibly take legal action, and I hope they find this and bring it to your attention. Because I can tell you two things:

• Libel/slander laws do not cover opinion.
• The burden of proof for defamation torts is always on the plaintiff. 
• (Which basically means that Certiport's legal eagles would have to prove what I have said above is untrue. Go ahead, make my day.)

Also, good luck collecting any damages. I'm unemployed, I have no income, and civil penalties and judgments can be written off in bankruptcy. 

So, yeah... 

Fuck you, Certiport. Fuck. You.