I'm done...

I'm done. 

With dating, that is.

No, this isn't going to be some happily ever after-type post in which I tell the world that I'm finally involved with the man of my dreams. 

It's quite the opposite, really.

I'm done with dating. 

I don't want to date anyone else, at least not for a long time. A very long time.

I've been burned too many times.

I'm tired. Sick and tired. Sick and tired of being lied to, led on, manipulated, cheated on, hit, and left for other women. All. The. Time.

I wish I had some happy dating stories, but I don't. 

I'm 31 years old, and I've never been in a serious relationship. 

I frequently find out I'm the other woman in many of my dating relationships (if you could call them that). My moral standards require me to terminate the relationship at that point. I've never regretted that part of those situations. I'm no homewrecker.  

I also frequently get left for/compared to other women. I frequently get blown off as soon as something--someone--comes along that is, in ways unknowable to me, somehow better. 

It hurts. 

It hurts when even guys who are well-known for being generally good souls treat me like dirt, like a tissue meant to be used temporarily and disposed of just as quickly.

It hurts when a guy that you didn't want to be anything other than friends with says, "I don't want anything serious with you because my head and my heart are still with my ex." I didn't want anything other than friendship, and now you tell me I'll perpetually be in second place. Thanks, I needed that. Like I don't already have enough issues with my self-esteem.

That's why I prefer to be ignored by men. It hurts like hell to be perpetually lonely, but it hurts worse to be hurt. It doesn't even matter if you do get the rare apology later for the dickish behavior, the pain is still there, gnawing at your psyche and soul.

That's why I'm so standoffish and bitter. I'll never be good enough, so why bother? 

It's easier to be alone. 

It's easier to be the crazy crocheting cat lady who stays at home on Valentine's Day with her 30 cats and latest crafting project. 

I don't want that fate, but the alternative is much, much worse.

So, I'm just going to stay in my corner, all alone (except for my cat), and do what it is that I do best:  make other people happy. 

Happy crafting, everyone.