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To a certain someone who has recently made a miraculous reappearance in my life:

We went on a date. We went back to your place. The next day, after I returned home, you weirded out and broke off our non-relationship via Facebook message. Even though you had my number, you weren't man enough to call me to deliver the news.

I finally understood what Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex and the City" was talking about when she was so upset that she'd been broken up with via a post-it note. Being broken up with, especially when there wasn't anything to break off to begin with, via a Facebook message is pretty low and shady. 

By the way, thanks for the preemptive break up. That always makes someone feel really good. 

Anyhoo, you've decided to contact me again--via Facebook message, of course!

After an initial polite exchange of the usual niceties and whatnot ("How are you?," "What have you been up to lately?," and etc.), I cut to the chase very quickly.

I asked you why you were back in contact with me after basically not acknowledging my existence for almost six months.

Yes, it was blunt. Yes, it was direct. 

I certainly hope it made you feel a tad uncomfortable. 

See, I'm a direct person, often to a fault. But I do know how to turn it on and off. I know when to spread honey, and I know when to toss vinegar. 

I specifically asked you what you wanted from me because I was tired of beating around the proverbial bush. Life is short, and I don't want to waste it in gray areas. 

Also, I don't believe in happenstance and pure-hearted motives--not because I'm an unkind, icy person but because direct personal experience over the years has taught me that kismet and kindness don't exist in a vast overwhelming majority of the populace. 

You have a reason for contacting me again. That extended silence showed me that you weren't stupid enough to think I wasn't hurt and upset by the way you treated me. 

So, speak now or forever hold your peace. 

Yes, this is harsh, but you've caught me at a harsher point in my personality and existence. See, when I was in my late teens and twenties, I would've been more forgiving. It would've been easier for me to just forgive and forget and let bygones be bygones.

But you aren't the first man to try to rope me into the ass-clown rodeo.

See, the endless cycle of you coming and going for your own selfish reasons into and out of my life is hard on my heart. 

You are just like all the other ass-clowns I've dated. I've dated so many of you that I even have a dating "genre" I group you all in. I like to call you guys my "Boomerang Boys" because no matter how many times you fly off into the distance, you always magically find your way back to me--sometimes even years later. 

And I am a kind, forgiving, sensitive person who tends to get taken advantage of by men like you. 

But no more.

I'm a stronger person now. I can handle loneliness.

I can't handle the constant tugging on my heart strings.

I ain't goin' to the fuckin' rodeo no more.